


Can't Lose You

by virtuevalois



Category: Bellarke - Fandom, The 100
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Multi, bellamy and clarke - Freeform, maybe some smut?, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:43:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virtuevalois/pseuds/virtuevalois
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after 2x16, Clarke decides to stay. Bellamy and Clarke end up sharing a room and comforting each other because of the nightmares they both have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Clarke..." Bellamy pleads after Clarke releases him from their long-awaited hug. 

They were standing by the gates of Camp Jaha. She wanted to leave, she couldn't bare the thought of what they had done. And neither could he, but he thought, just maybe, he could if she were there with him.

"Bellamy... I just..." She was crying now, tears slowly falling down her cheeks.

Bellamy wanted desperately to take his bruised fingers and gently wipe the tears away, but he held back, not sure how she would feel about the gesture.

"I know. But Clarke, we can get through this together. Please don't leave." He begged, his voice cracking as he said the word together. 

Clarke's eyes shifted up to his eyes, studying them as her brain contemplated what he was begging of her. His eyes met hers, she could see how desperate he was for her to stay, just by the darkness in his already dark brown eyes.

Eventually, she agreed. Telling herself that if she needed, she could sneak off while he was sleeping. She followed him into camp as everyone stared. They followed Bellamy and Clarke as they walked together toward the center of camp. 

"They're staring, Bellamy." She told him, though he was already well aware of all the judging eyes.

"Ignore them." He said as he placed his hand on her lower back and followed her inside. 

Octavia saw them walk in, and rolled her eyes, walking away from where she and Lincoln were standing.

"O..." Bellamy pleaded. She ignored him, still holding resentment for Clarke after the Ton DC bombing. And on top of it, Jasper wouldn't even look at Clarke, or anyone for that matter. Monty was in the corner with Harper, where they both hand their faces in their hands. Clarke could hear Monty vaguely speaking about how Jasper would never talk to him again. 

Her heart ached, she knew she couldn't handle this. "Bell..." She started. Bellamy already knew, so he grabbed her hand and led her to a room where there would be no reminders of what they had done.

"You should stay in here tonight, I can bring you food and water." He suggested, standing protectively by the door, as if he expected someone to barge in and threaten to harm her. He wouldn't let that happen. Clarke shook her head in agreement as she sat down in the corner.

Bellamy took it upon himself to leave her alone, but he never left the hallway where her room was. Just in case. 

 

"Please just talk to me, O." Bellamy begged. Octavia had been ignoring him all night. 

"I have to go." She said. Lincoln stopped her, "Hear him out, Octavia." He said. His voice soothing her, and reminding her that it wasn't Bellamy she was mad at, it was Clarke.

"I'm sorry, Bell." She said as she looked him in the eyes. 

Her apology making Bellamy feel a million times better, but the weight of what he and Clarke had done was no where near lifted. He excused himself to check on Clarke again, for the 10th time in the last 20 minutes. 

"Eventually you're going to have to forgive her, Octavia." Lincoln said as he placed his lips to her temple.   
"Why? Why should I?!" She asked.   
"Because, isn't it obvious?" He asked, staring into her green eyes.   
She was confused at first, but as she watched her brother walk towards the room where Clarke was, she realized. 

"He cares about her." She admitted. She had pretty much always known that her brother cared about Clarke more than the rest of the delinquents. But she never had imagined her asshole brother actually falling for someone.   
She thought back to only a few days ago when Clarke had ran towards Bellamy with everything she had, and Bellamy embracing her as if his life depended on it. She knew what that hug meant, but knew neither of them would ever admit it.

"Knock, knock." Bellamy said as his knuckles softly clinked on the door.   
"Yeah." She said. He took that as an okay to enter. "How are you?" He asked, as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him.   
"I told you before Bellamy, it's hard being here, seeing their faces." She said. 

She had been crying. He knelt down to where she had been sitting for the last hour. Taking a seat next to her, he leaned against the wall. 

"I get it, Clarke. I do. But we had no choice, you know that. You have to remember all of the people we saved, all of our people." His words calmed her slowly, her body seconds from full panic mode just moments before. 

"Maya helped us Bellamy, she helped keep you alive. And Jasper, Jasper loved her." 

Bellamy's eyes fell with Clarke's words, reminding him of the dark haired girl who was the reason he was still alive. And now, because of them, she was dead. 

"We may not be able to forgive ourselves Clarke, but we can forgive each other." He said. 

She nodded. "I forgive you." She said, repeating his earlier statement about her needing forgiveness.

"Can we just stay in here for awhile? You and me?" She asked. His body tensed, he wasn't sure why. 

"Of course." He said, and they did for the rest of the night, neither of them sleeping much.


	2. Chapter 2

"No... No... NO!" She screamed. Waking herself from the 30 minutes of sleep she had finally gotten. 

She looked up to see Bellamy sitting next to where she was laying, his dark eyes immediately calming her. 

"Are you okay?" He asked. His hand reached forward to touch her shoulder softly. 

"Yeah, yeah... I just, had another nightmare." She said, his eyes falling from hers to the ground. 

He had them too, she had heard him from time to time.

This was the 4th night they had slept together in this room since they had come back to camp. Never touching, but sleeping within arms reach incase one of them awoke in a terror and needed comfort.

"I should go check on Raven." Clarke said as she got up and walked towards the door, "Thanks, Bellamy." She said. Not being specific on what for, but meaning for everything he'd done to make her feel as comfortable as he could. He nodded to her as she left the room. 

 

On her way to the medical room, where she knew her mother would be, she passed Octavia. Who didn't smile, but didn't glare either. It was progress, that's what counted, she thought to herself.

"Raven, how are you?" Clarke asked as she entered the medical room and walked over to where Raven was, Wick close by her side. "I'm feeling a lot better. Thanks." She said. Her voice had been dry and without emotion. 

"I'm so sorry." Clarke said.   
"You don't have to keep saying that Clarke, it's not your fault." She said, Clarke however, wasn't convinced. 

"Can I speak to you?" Abby said as she came into the room holding a bag of medical supplies. Clarke shrugged, following her mother to a room, one of the only ones that was open. 

With all the wounds from Mt Weather, there was hardly any empty rooms. Clarke felt a pang in her chest when she thought about it. 

"What is it?" She asked her mother. 

"Kane and I have been talking, and we think it might be time to sit down with us, you and Bellamy, that is. We think we should talk about what happened in Mt. Weather." Clarke gulped, she didn't want to talk to anyone about it, let alone her mom and her moms boyfriend. 

"Mom..." She started. 

"Look, I know you don't want to, but I think it will help you. We can all hear the screams that come from your room - you and Bellamy's - um, room." Abby looked nervous. 

Clarke almost let out a giggle - almost. "We're not, mom we're not... We're just friends." Clarke said, calming her mother who had been freaking out. 

"Oh, well, talk to him and let us know if you'd like to sit down with us." Abby said. "Fine." Clarke said and she didn't waste another second before walking away. 

"I'll see you later." She said to Raven and she placed a hand on the side of her bed. Raven smiled up at her, Wick too. 

 

"Hey." She said as she walked into the room - their room. 

"Hey," He said smiling up at her, "You okay?"   
"Yeah, you?" She asked him.

They were always asking if the other one was okay, always making sure they knew they had each other if they weren't. 

"Yeah. I think O is finally coming around to forgiving you." He said, remembering the conversation he had with her earlier that day. 

It brought a small smile to her face, something he hadn't realized he'd missed so much until he saw it again. The way it changed the shape of her face just slightly. 

"I hope so." She said as she sat down next to him. 

"I'm going to try and get some sleep." She said as she laid her head down on their makeshift bed. 

"Me too." He said as he followed suit. 

 

Usually they would lay about a foot apart, never allowing their bodies to actually touch unless it was to comfort the other. This time though, an hour later, when he heard her tiny sniffs, he was suddenly filled with an aching warmth, a need to comfort her in a way he hadn't before. 

"Clarke," he whispered.  
He slowly scooted closer, still allowing a few inches between them.

She kept sobbing, looking away from him so he wouldn't see her crying, not that he hadn't before. 

It took him a good minute and a half to get up enough courage to scoop her up in one swift motion and hold her sobbing body into his. She buried her head in his chest, her tears staining his shirt - he didn't care. 

"It's okay, Clarke, it's okay." He said over and over again as he slowly ran his fingers through the hair on her shoulder. 

And eventually, after a good 30 minutes, she fell asleep in his arms. 

He was going to move her, he swore he was, but the feeling of her breathing against him, made him feel at home for the first time in months. So instead - he fell asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

In hindsight, Bellamy probably should have locked the door. 

He cursed himself in his head as Monty opened the door, Clarke was still wrapped in his arms. 

He had just woken a few minutes before, and just couldn't bring himself to move her or wake her. 

Monty's eyes widened, but then, a smirk moved onto his face.   
"My bad." He whispered as he winked at Bellamy. 

"No -" He tried to plead his case but Monty had already shut the door, and was probably screaming down all the halls sharing the scene he had just witnessed with anyone who would listen. 

The shutting of the door had woken Clarke, her eyes blinked as she came in touch with reality. 

Bellamy quickly moved his arm from around her and backed away.

"Morning." He said, hoping she wouldn't be concerned about the fact that he was still holding her. 

"Morning..." She said. He was scared to see the reaction on her face, but when she turned around to face him, her eyes were smiling at him.

"Who was that?" She asked.

"Monty. Probably telling the entire camp that - you know." Bellamy said, without actually saying it. 

"Great. My mother's going to think I'm a liar." She said. 

Bellamy looked at her questioningly. 

"Yesterday, she asked me if we would sit and talk to her and Kane. And she thought we were together, together." She said. 

Bellamy smiled, a faint sigh leaving his lips. 

"I'll go set them all straight before it gets back to her." He said as he stood up.

"What are you going to - um - say?" She asked.   
He really didn't know, so he shrugged. 

"Hey, Bellamy?" She asked right before he went to open the door. 

"Yeah?" He asked, turning around to look at her. 

"Thanks for last night, I hate to admit it, but that's the best I've slept in weeks." She said, softly smiling up at him.

Her smile was contagious to him.   
He couldn't hold back his own smile.

"Oddly enough, so did I." He said as he opened the door and walked out.

 

"Bellamy and Clarke sitting in a -" Miller started to sing. 

"That's not even funny, Miller. You're a child." Bellamy said cutting him off. 

Miller just smirked at him and went back to his conversation with Bryan. 

"So, is it true?" Octavia asked, her eyebrow cocked up.   
"Oh my god, no. I was comforting her and we fell asleep. MONTY!" He yelled as he walked from where Octavia was to where Monty was undoubtably telling a group of people about Bellamy and Clarke. 

"I'm proud of you, dad." Monty said, joking.

The delinquents had taken up this joke where they would call Bellamy and Clarke mom and dad. They acted like they hated it, but they didn't. 

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "Monty we aren't together. I was comforting her and we fell asleep. Please, stop telling people we are before Abby finds out and kicks my ass." He pleaded. 

Monty pictured Abby kicking Bellamy quite literally in the ass. 

"Okay, fine." Monty said in defeat. 

Everyone in the group had walked away by then, losing interest knowing it was all fake. 

Clarke walked out a few minutes later, all eyes on her as she walked over to where Bellamy was sitting with Miller and Bryan. 

Miller shot a mischievous look at Bellamy, and Bellamy gave him a murderous glare, so he backed down. 

"Hi." Clarke said.   
She hadn't come out and talked with anyone at all since they'd been back. 

The only thing she ever did was grab food and check on Raven, who was now up and walking, slowly, but walking nonetheless. 

"Hey, Clarke." Bryan said. His blue eyes hiding behind his long dark hair.   
He was leaning softly on Miller. 

Clarke smiled at them, finally, she thought. 

Clarke and Bellamy had mingled with a few of the original 100 that day, all of them coming over, wanting a conversation with their fearless leaders. 

Something had changed in Clarke, she was lighter, she smiled more than a few times.   
Bellamy wondered what had changed, and wondered if maybe it was the fact that they had both gotten over 10 hours of sleep, something they hadn't done at all since being on the ground. 

Abby watched from afar as her daughter and her dark haired protector held the attention of all of the younger people from the ark. 

She was proud of her daughter, for the women she had so needlessly become.   
She thought about Clarke, being a women, and she thought about the fact that sooner or later, she would have to come to terms with her relationships. 

She had known about the commander, and the relationship - if that's what you wanted to call it - she had with her.   
And she had worried about that relationship, because the commander seemed so cold and walled up from the real world. 

She had also known about Finn, and the fact that while Finn loved Clarke, Raven loved Finn, and Clarke - well she wasn't sure how Clarke had felt about Finn. 

But Bellamy - he was the one to watch out for.   
He was the one Abby knew would stick around. There was no getting rid of him, even though Clarke had promised her they weren't together. 

Abby was smart enough to know that her daughter had no idea that the freckled face boy sitting next to her - the one who looked at her like she put the stars in the sky -that boy, that man, because he so clearly wasn't a boy, would be the one to knock Clarke clear off her feet. 

Kane had mentioned a few nights ago, the way that Bellamy stood next to her, was in such a protective way.   
And it wasn't on purpose, at least Abby and Kane had figured it wasn't. It was just the natural way his body acted around her, they had fallen into that pattern, a patter of protecting each other subconsciously. 

And it was true, Bellamy and Clarke had this natural pattern to their relationship.   
If Bellamy stroked Clarke's arm, Clarke would return the favor, even if she hadn't realized she'd done it. 

"This is good." Clarke finally said when it was just herself and Bellamy sitting at the table.

"What is?" He asked, he was already looking at her so when her eyes looked up to meet his, it almost took her by surprise.

"Us, them. I think we're going to be okay." She said, her hand falling onto his arm, just below his elbow. 

"I think so too." He said, returning her gesture by placing his hand on top of hers.


	4. Chapter 4

"Bellamy! Bellamy..." Clarke pleaded for him as he shook violently in his sleep. 

Angry, scared, slurs coming from his sleeping mouth. 

"Clarke, no!" He yelled, still deep in his nightmare. 

"Bellamy, wake up!" She yelled. 

Finally, his eyes opened just slightly. Despite it being cold outside, he was sweating. 

"Hey, hey, Bellamy. Are you okay?" Clarke asked as she moved pieces of his hair from the sticky sweat on his forehead. 

"Yeah.. I'm... Sorry." He said as he sat up, mind coming back to reality. 

"Don't be. You - what were you dreaming?" She asked. 

They usually didn't venture into telling each other about their nightmares, but when he said her name - yelled it actually - Clarke became curious. 

"I... Don't mean to pry, but you said..." 

"It's okay. It was you. We were back in Mt. Weather, and Cage found you and..." He had to stop himself. 

Clarke looked into Bellamy's deep brown, sleepy eyes, and felt a warmth in her heart as she placed her hand in his. 

She'd almost always felt a burning sensation when they'd had skin-to-skin contact. It was almost like when you touch something so hot that it feels cold. 

"It's okay, Bellamy. I'm right here." She said.   
He instinctively started rubbing soft circles on the back of her hand, she wondered if he knew he was even doing it. 

"I know, I know. Thanks, Clarke." He said smiling at her, she smiled back, and the two of them fell back down and slowly fell back to sleep.   
Their hands still intertwined. 

"Dammit Bellamy!" There was a pounding on the door, and Octavia's familiar voice yelling for Bellamy. 

He had just woken up, and to his surprise, Clarke wasn't there.

"What is, O?" He asked as he unlocked the door for Octavia.

"Jesus Bellamy, I've been trying to get you to wake up for like 20 minutes!" 

"Sorry, O." He said rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"You should probably come out here and defend your girl, Jasper has been taking shots at her all morning." 

Bellamy hardly heard the last few words before he was heading out the door. Octavia was rolling her eyes as she followed him. 

"I'm sorry, Jasper! What more do you want me to say?!" Clarke was yelling. 

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Clarke. You murdered my girlfriend!" He was slurring, and he had a drink in his hand, as if he needed any more. 

A few seconds later Bellamy came around the corner and got into Jasper's face, "That's enough!" He yelled. 

Jasper backed down, but the anger never left his face. 

"Boyfriend Bellamy to the princesses rescue." He spit out.   
Bellamy rolled his eyes, "You need to take a break Jasper." He said as his eyes fell on the drink in Jasper's hand. 

"Don't fucking tell me what to do." Jasper slurred as he fell backwards.

"Okay, okay, that's enough." Raven said as she came around the corner.   
She grabbed Jasper's arm and he went with her willingly as he glared at both Bellamy and Clarke. 

"Don't listen to him, Clarke." He said. 

But he could tell she had already let him get to her. There were tears in her eyes. 

"Hey, hey, don't." He said as he closed the distance between them and pulled her in for a hug.

He almost forgot that they weren't alone, and that more than a few people were watching as they held onto each other.

"Get a room!" Octavia yelled as she met Lincoln at a table across the room. She had a smile on her face though, and so did Lincoln.   
Clarke pulled away from Bellamy as she gave him a thankful nod. He nodded back as he followed her to go get food. 

They had fallen into a routine; they would sleep next to each other, closer than before, but still never touching.

Until one of them - or sometimes both - would wake up from a nightmare, and somehow the only way they could fall back to sleep, is if they were touching.   
Holding hands, or with Bellamy's arm around Clarke's waist. 

They didn't think much of it, or at least they tried not to, just chalked it up to being best friends.   
That's what best friends do right? 

In the mornings they would come out, get food, hang with a few of their friends, get ridiculed by a few, work on tactics without the knowledge of Kane and Abby.   
And then end up back in bed by the end of the night. 

 

Later on that evening, Bellamy found Clarke alone in their room, her face buried in her hands.

"Clarke, what's wrong?!" He asked as he ran to her.

"I thought I was doing okay, Bellamy. I did. But Jasper this morning, what he said - it really got to me." She said, a single tear falling down her cheek and onto her collarbone. 

"Listen to me," He started, "We had no other choice. Jasper wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for you. Remember that almost none of them would be, our friends, what we did, we saved them." He reminded her.

Another tear fell from her eye, and before he could think twice, he used his calloused thumb to wipe it away. 

She looked up at him, her blue eyes searing into his brown ones. 

He found his hand involuntarily landing on the space right near her jawline. 

Their eyes flickered back and forth.

He wanted to kiss her, and it was the first time in the weeks he'd known her, that he actually admitted it to himself.

Instead, she fell into his chest. His chin resting on the top of her blonde head.

"Thank you." She said. He mumbled, "you're welcome," And felt the strongest urge to let his lips land on her head. 

He fought it for as long as he could, and then, they fell right onto the spot closest to her forehead. 

 

The next morning, Clarke spent a good amount of time thinking about the moment between her and Bellamy the night before.

She wanted to pretend that it would just go back to normal, except it couldn't because of the fire that burned through her entire body every time Bellamy touched her. 

That was new. 

And when he looked into her eyes, she couldn't help but acknowledge the warm feeling in her chest where her heart sat. 

"Clarke..." He said, his fingers setting her arm ablaze as they softly stroked her awake.

"Morning." He said. 

"Um - morning." She said, a smile forcing itself to the surface.   
"Is something wrong?" He asked, his smile fading into worry.   
"I'm fine, Bellamy don't worry." She said smiling, her hand landing on his. 

"If something's wrong, you know you can always tell me." He said as he stood from their bed and put his guards jacket back on. 

"I know, thanks." She said as she smiled again. He nodded at her as he opened the door and walked out. 

 

Bellamy walked to the kitchen area, ready to find Miller and start discussing the hunting trip they planned on taking in a weeks time.

"Where's Clarke?" Octavia asked as Bellamy walked into the kitchen part of the camp. 

"Why do you always ask me that?" He asked with a confused look on his face. 

"Oh Bell, don't play dumb with me." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever, she should be coming out soon." He said as he walked away, his brain filled with the memories of the night before.

 

When Clarke walked out, Octavia found her. 

Octavia had finally forgiven Clarke a few days before, she could forgive, but she definitely hadn't forgotten.

"Apparently Raven needs us." She said as she grabbed Clarke's arm and headed to the table Raven was at. 

"Hey, what happened?!" Clarke asked as she sat down.

"Nothing huge, I just broke up with Wick." Raven said as she nonchalantly stuffed bread in her mouth. 

"How come?" Octavia asked, grabbing a piece of bread off of Raven's plate. 

"I just wasn't feeling him anymore, you know?" She explained.

Octavia nodded. 

Clarke thought about Bellamy.

"O can I talk to you for a minute?" Bellamy said as he walked up behind Clarke, his hand resting softly on her shoulder.

Raven and Octavia's eyes were glued to Bellamy's hand. Raven smirked.

Octavia got up and followed Bellamy to another area of the room.

"So, when were you gonna tell me that you and Bellamy are a thing?" Raven asked, eyebrows cocked. 

"Wha - we aren't." Clarke said, embarrassment making its way to her face, cheeks redder than a tomato. 

"Honey," Raven started, her hand resting on Clarke's arm. "Yes you are." 

"We're friends. That's all it is, that's all it can be." Clarke said as her face fell.

"You have feelings for him, don't you?" She asked.

"Can we just drop it and talk about you breaking up with Wick instead?!" 

Before Raven could protest, Bellamy and Octavia came back. 

"Clarke we have to go." Bellamy said.

"Is everything okay?" Clarke asked. 

"Actually no, Kane needs us." He said as he nodded at Octavia and Raven as Clarke got up and followed him without a goodbye to the girls. 

When they arrived, a hurt Jasper lay on the table in the medical room. 

"What the hell happened?!" Clarke yelled as she rushed to Jasper's side.   
There was blood coming from his head and somewhere on his side. 

"Jordan here was drunkenly walking around by the electric fence, and got himself electrocuted, and then fell and smacked his head on a rock." Kane said as he passed the gauze over to Abby who came running in from another room. 

"Clarke, we don't have enough medical supplies, I need you and Bellamy to go to Mount Weather and recover some of their supplies." Abby ordered as she frantically searched for something to take Jasper's pain. 

He was screeching in agony as the electric currents pulsed through his body.   
"Okay, we're on it." Clarke said as she looked up at Bellamy, who's eyes were filled with worry.

"Let me grab a bag." He said as he rushed to their room. 

Abby handed Clarke a list of supplies they needed and nodded for her to be on her way. 

"We'll be back, Jas." Clarke said as she touched the side of the table, wishing she could touch him, but knowing he wouldn't want her to. 

"Let's go." Bellamy said as he took her hand instinctively and led her out the gates of the camp.


	5. Chapter 5

The walk was silent, neither of them saying anything to the other.  
Halfway there, Bellamy finally spoke, "Clarke, he's going to be okay."

His gaze fell onto her ocean blue eyes.  
"I - I know." Clarke said unconvincingly. 

"Hey," He stopped her and grabbed her hand, her skin on fire where his fingers touched hers. 

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, "We're going to get the supplies, your mom will fix him. Jasper will be fine, okay?" He said, his thumb stroking her hand softly, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

"Alright, okay." 

They stood there, for probably too long, their eyes locked, their hands locked.

"I - uh, we should go." Clarke said, shaking her head and letting go of his hand. 

"Yeah, we should." He said as they continued walking in silence.

Clarke's mind was on overdrive. She was worried about Jasper, and she was worried about the fact that she and Bellamy almost kissed, twice now. She was worried that being alone together would start to become a problem.

Bellamy was worried about the exact same thing. He wanted more than anything to just kiss her. Even just once. He needed to feel her lips on his, he needed to know what that felt like. 

When they got to Mt Weather, the memory of lives they had taken overwhelmed both of them. So they sad on the ground outside of the doors, waiting until they could finally get up the courage to go inside.

"Are you going to be okay, Clarke?" Bellamy asked, his eyes fixed on the doors.

"I think so. You?" 

"We have to. For Jasper." He said, standing up and lowering his hand to her. Not to help her up, but to comfort her as they finally made the jump to go inside. 

She stood up, but didn't let go of his hand. She knew why he had help it out for her.

Bellamy opened the doors and they both walked in. The smell engulfing them and Clarke doubled over to throw up. 

"I didn't realize it would smell... Like -"

"Death." Bellamy finished. Clarke shook her head yes.

They quickly found their way to where Bellamy knew the extra medical supplies were hidden. They grabbed everything on Abby's list and headed out as quickly as they could.

"That was worse than I thought..." Clarke said, tears in her eyes.

To Clarke's surprise, when she looked up at Bellamy, he had tears in his eyes too.

"It was." He said, his face falling towards the ground. 

Clarke didn't know what to say, so she just grabbed his hand. Intertwining her fingers with his. She gave him a small smile, which forced a small one to his face too.

"What would I do without you, Clarke Griffin?" He asked, their pace slowing slightly, unintentionally. 

She blushed, also unintentionally. 

"More like what would we do without each other." She said, her fingers tightening around his, he tightened his back. Sending tingles spreading up and down Clarke's spine. 

Bellamy said nothing, just smiled as they kept walking.

 

When they were almost back to the camp, they heard the familiar sound of the acid fog horn.

"Shit, Bellamy! Where do we go?!" She asked, frantically looking for a place for them to take cover. 

"This way!" He yelled she followed him.

Just as they could see the fog in the distance, Bellamy moved some dirt off the ground, uncovering a small lever. 

"It's the bunker we found the guns in?" Clarke asked. She was sure she recognized it.

"It is, come on." He said as they both climbed down inside.

"Damn, that was close." Clarke said, out of breath from running. 

"No kidding." Bellamy said, setting the medical supplies down on the ground and sitting down next to them.

"How did you know this was here?" She asked.

"I remembered the tree, we were standing by the tree when we heard the acid fog horn."

Clarke knew which tree. The tree where Bellamy killed Dax. Where they opened up to each other for the first time. 

The first time she admitted she needed him.

"Right." She said, taking a seat across from him on the floor. 

"It will probably be at least an hour before the fog clears, maybe you should try and get some sleep?" Bellamy suggested, they had been out all day and it was nearly nightfall and he knew Clarke liked to sleep early. 

"Good idea. We can take 30 minute shifts, yeah?" She suggested. 

He shook his head in agreement. 

Clarke looked around for something to rest her head on, no luck.

"Here." Bellamy said as he took off his jacket and laid it on the ground next to him.

"Thanks." She said smiling up at him. "But, won't you get cold?" She asked. It was still Winter, and although the bunker was warmer than the colder, windy air outside, it still wasn't warm enough to be without a jacket. 

"I'll be fine, Clarke. Sleep." He smiled.

 

Clarke laid her head down, but couldn't find sleep. Instead, she found herself staring up at Bellamy and admiring his features like she'd never done before. 

His glowing freckled skin, his dimpled chin, his dark and curly untamed hair. 

His arms, and how incredibly massive they actually were. She was surprised they had never crushed her while they slept when he left it laying around her body.

"Bellamy?" She whispered. She wasn't sure why it came out as a whisper.

"Yeah?" He asked back, he whispered too. 

"Can you lay down with me?" 

He looked down at her, her eyes beading up at him in the cutest way. She looked so peaceful and innocent laying there looking at him like he was the only human she'd ever seen. 

"Of course." He said, he moved down so that he was at level with her. 

She shifted just slightly, getting as close as she could without actually touching him. 

"Come here." He said, nodding for her to lay her head down on his chest. 

She complied, letting her head rest right above where his heart was. She could hear it beating, it made hers swell.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, letting the tip of his fingers brush the skin where her shirt was just slightly lifted. 

Chills and a burning sensation shot through Clarke all at once. She ignored it, and closed her eyes.

"Sleep now, Clarke." He said, his breathing moving her up and down.

She fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating in her ear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some notes on the previous chapter:  
> Someone brought to my attention the acid fog. In this, Emerson figured out how to fix the acid fog and control it from a different location. And it's been going on for a few weeks, and that's why Bellamy and Clarke weren't confused when they saw it.  
> Just wanted to clear that up in case you were confused.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

When they got back to camp, things were different between them. They both knew it, but were too afraid to bring it up. 

"I got everything you asked for, is he okay?" Clarke asked as she ran into the medical room. 

"He's okay for now, these will help." Abby said as she grabbed the things from Clarke. "You won't want to be here for this, Clarke." She said, looking down at Jasper's sleeping body.

"Come on, Clarke." Bellamy said softly. His hand found hers, wrapping her in comfort she didn't know she needed.

They walked out and shut the door behind them. They knew soon, they'd hear screams of pain. 

"Hey Bellamy, we need to go on our hunting trip early. We're nearly out of meat." Miller said as he walked up to Bellamy and Clarke.

"We'll leave in a few hours." Bellamy said. Miller nodded and walked off, probably looking for Bryan.

Clarke gulped. For some reason, fear and worry washed over her. 

"Hey, you okay? You tensed up." Bellamy asked.

Clarke smiled, "I'm fine." She lied.

"I'm going to go pack a bag and get my supplies ready." Bellamy said, he let go of her hand, he had forgotten he was holding it. 

The warmth from his hand left, leaving her feeling cold.

"I'll go find Raven, I know she's probably worried sick about Jasper." Clarke said, she smiled up at Bellamy. He nodded and walked off towards their room.

 

When Clarke found Raven she was bundled up in blankets by a fire outside. "You okay?" She asked as she sat down next to her.

"I am. I'm just-" 

"Worried about Jasper, I know. Me too." Clarke said. Her hand found Raven's and wrapped around it to comfort her. 

"Where's Octavia? I imagine she's probably worried sick too." 

"She's asleep. While you guys were gone, when she found out what happened, she went crazy with worry. She was crying. So I told Lincoln to take her to bed and make her sleep." Raven said, recalling the events from hours before.

"He'll be okay, Raven. My mom will fix him." 

Raven half smiled, "I know." 

 

Clarke found her way to her room a few hours later, after eating dinner with Raven and Monty. 

Bellamy was napping when she walked in. She knew he was leaving in less than an hour. 

She shut the door quietly, but still managed to wake him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She apologized. 

"That's okay, I should get up anyway." He shuffled, sitting up.

Clarke took off her jacket and sat down next to him. There was so much tension between them. Worry and fear exuding from Clarke. 

"I'll be fine, Clarke. We do this trip every other week." 

"I- I know. It's just different." She admitted. Her heart speeding up inside her chest.

"I know." He said, his heart doing the same. Sweat filling up in the palm of his hand.

"I don't - I don't know what it means Bellamy." 

"I don't either. I want to know, but-"

"I'm scared." Clarke whispered. Her whisper bringing Bellamy's eyes to hers. He nodded in response.

There was a chill in the air that wasn't from the winter weather outside. 

"Can we just - lay here? Until you leave?" She asked. 

"Sure." He replied, pulling her into him as he put his down on his pillow. He wrapped his arm around her, her back against his chest. 

All they could hear was their breathing. Heavy and light all at the same time. 

 

A half an hour passed, and Bellamy remembered he needed to leave.

"Clarke-" He started.

"I know." She said. She sat up, moving his arm from around her. He stood up and started putting on his jacket and grabbing his weapons and bag. 

"Be careful, Bellamy, please." She begged as she stood up to hug him.

"I will, I promise, Clarke." He said. His arms wrapping around her, engulfing her into his embrace. 

As she pulled away, she looked up at his dark brown eyes. She decided to memorize his face, just in case. His freckles danced like stars across his face. She loved his freckles. 

Suddenly, filled with fear and love and too many things at once. She reached up, putting her hands on the back of his neck and pulled him down to her level. 

"Clarke..." He started, but he stopped himself, because he was filled with just as much emotion as she was. 

She slowly brought his lips to hers. Her heart filled with warmth the second he started moving with her. His hand finding her face. It was a slow, soft kiss. A kiss that said Come Home. 

She pulled away just as slow as she had started. His eyes were still closed when she opened hers. When he opened his, his pupils had filled his eyes. 

"Be safe." She said. Letting go of the back of his neck and backing away. 

"I- I will." He stuttered. 

As he walked out, a million thoughts were running through his head. 

He has kissed Clarke, or rather, she had kissed him. And it was better than he ever even imagined. But it was sad, and scared. All he knew, was he needed to come home and kiss her again.


End file.
